All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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