her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Blood and glitter go together right?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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