she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
