Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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