I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
