I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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