guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
