You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
