I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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