I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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