i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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