loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
