I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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