Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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