Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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