i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
