Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
