can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
