Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
