just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
