grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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