drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
