I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
