she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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