Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
they're like a gay fantastic four
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
