the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
