so explain again why im purple
no
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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