Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
