dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
