I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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