On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We are two peas in an std pod
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
