return my video game
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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