yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
