I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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