Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
