no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
