I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
