woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
