Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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