jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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