i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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