I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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