Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
