I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
