So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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