I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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