So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
