I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
