Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
