I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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