Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
