she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
