What a fucking waste of an outfit
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
