Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
